learn to love yourself first
self love is one of those things that doesn't happen over night... it's a constant battle. truth is, society will always try to convince us that we are not good enough -- that our teeth can be straighter, our waists smaller, our lips larger, and so on. the irony of all this is that there are so many people who go to great lengths to fit this mold of perfection, only to still be miserable with themselves in the end.
true beauty comes from within. i know it sounds like something that your mother would tell you, but it's true. perhaps maybe right now you are going through a tough time, but remember that pain only comes into your life to teach you something.
❥ why is self love so important?
so many people underestimate the importance of self-love. during the teenage or young adult years, many of us place our love and dedication into people and temporary things rather than ourselves. i've seen many people my age and even older people lose themselves over relationships, jobs and school because they lacked self love, and deep down they believed that they were not enough. truth is, self-love is the root of your perspective on life, your ability to love and empower others, and the choices you'll make in the future. if we keep reminding ourselves that "WE ARE ENOUGH" i think we would be happier and more confident.
❥ how do i know i lack self-love?
sometimes, the toughest but most important way to determine our lack of self-love or self-worth is by questioning ourselves. the more we hide it, the more it worsens!
i've made 5 questions for you to ask yourself in order to determine your lack of self-love. answer them honestly (in your head of course)!
1. who do you see staring back at you in the mirror? 2. what do you tell yourself in positive or negative situations? 3. when you do something (it can be anything), are you proud or disappointed? 4. where do fit in the most and the least in society? 5. what do you think of yourself---inside and out?
if your answers were more negative than positive, then you definitely lack self-love, and that's totally okay! all of us experience a lack of self-love in different times of our life! i promise, you're not the only one who's in the hole. there's millions of people who can easily relate and validate your feelings and experiences as well.
❥ are there things i can do to love myself more?
absolutely! of course we're all going to have ups and downs in our life, and that's just the way it is. however, we should always try to love ourselves, even if it feels impossible at that specific moment!
for now, here are a few things to keep in mind while on your self-love journey:
1 - stop comparing yourself to others
you are beautiful and unique in your own way. there's no one else on this entire planet who's like you! if you see a picture of a beautiful woman, remember that she is beautiful in her own way the same way you are beautiful in yours. it's like trying to compare lilies and roses... both are fragrant and absolutely beautiful... yet entirely unique.
2 - look in the mirror
when was the last time you really took a good look of yourself in the mirror? the last time you gazed into your own eyes? or looked at your lips, caressed your own cheeks? look in the mirror, and pick a feature about yourself that you really like. focus for a moment on that. tell yourself what you like about it. i know, at first this might feel strange, but if you do it regularly you will soon start loving more and more things about yourself. if you are having an off day, and for some reason can't find anything, pick a feature and fake it until you make it. it's incredible what our minds can convince us. the things we tell ourselves often have a way of becoming our reality.
3 - spend time alone
it's so important to spend plenty of time getting to know yourself. in this life, you will only make it if you learn how to be your own best friend. the reason why this is crucial for people struggling with self-image is because it sets a solid emotional foundation. people who really know themselves are not shaken by the opinions of others. they don't need validation from others to feel special or beautiful.
4 - stay away from negative people
if a particular person is making you feel uncomfortable with who you are, it's best to steer clear of them. this includes friends and family members! protect your precious energy. surround yourself with people who make you feel proud to be who you are. if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world... you need to let them go. remember, you are a beautiful, magical human being and only worthy of those who can see it.
❥ but what if i don't get there?
don't look back, just keep going!
the process of healing, learning, and evolving into your own is going to take time, and rushing it only makes everything harder along the way! girls, life is not meant to be easy, and nor is it gonna be in the future. then again, you need to encourage yourself, and keep on trying. the pain will become unbearable at one point or another, but there IS an end! one of the biggest, down-to-earth promises i'll ever make is that:
EVERYTHING IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR IN THE END
you may not believe it now; but once everything is done, i swear to you, the feeling of self-love and the abilities to embrace everyone and the universe surrounding you is far greater than any other award you'll ever receive. believe me, i've been there.
truly loving yourself is a battle that you will fight every day. some days, it's easy, and other days, it feels like the battle of your life. just remember, that every single human being on this planet is struggling or has struggled with self-love. you are never alone. never.
thank you girls for reading!
V
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