focus on what you can control

why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?

some things in life are out of our control. we can’t control what other people think of us. we can’t control the weather. we can’t control losing a loved one. we can’t control how others behave or what they say - the list is infinite, really. but, wouldn't we be more effective if we focused on all the things we can control instead?

i created a list as a reminder of all the things i can control in my life and i encourage you to do the same. after all, your list might be completely different. you might disagree with what i wrote. which is totally fine because we all have different opinions and ways of thinkings.

if you decide to write your own list, post your list somewhere visible, or keep it in your notebook. refer to it regularly and remind yourself that YOU have the power, whatever circumstances comes your way.

without further do, here's my list of the things i can control:

❥ my thoughts

you're the only one in charge of your thoughts. no matter how bad of a situation you think you're in right now, a negative mindset will do nothing but make it worse. you don't always have to force yourself to be optimistic... convincing yourself and not letting your mind drift towards the worse case scenarios when something happens is more than enough!

the moment you catch yourself thinking of something that doesn’t have any contribution to your life in a positive way, simply, stop. you control your mind – your mind does not control you.

❥ my words

i admit - i'm pretty straightforward and sometimes my temper brings out the absolute worst in me. sometimes i say things that I don't mean and i hurt people that i care about unintentionally with my words. however, as long as you're making the effort to be more aware and cautious with your words - your efforts WILL show effective progress eventually.

you are the one in control of what you say, and you always have a choice of choosing whether you want to give a positive or negative reply to others.

❥ my priorities

yes, it's important to set your priorities straight. however, it's completely fine if circumstances make you want to change them. you don't always have to keep to a specific, strict order of priorities - do what you think is best for yourself. you're in control of what you choose to prioritize and focus on in your life, so don't feel bad if you want new changes.

❥ how i treat others

everyday, you have the chance to choose how you want to treat people around you. it doesn't matter if it's words, actions, behaviour or attitude - you are in control of how you want to act around others.

you can choose to be kinder even if you're feeling down because you want to brighten someone else's day. you can choose to be more understanding if you're interacting with someone sad or irritated. it's all up to you, and if you choose to be just a little nicer or kinder, it can really make a big difference to others. trust me, they'll remember it.

❥ who i surround myself with

i want to share this quote instead of explaining why you shouldn't keep toxic people in your life.

"You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go."

— Daniell Koepke

❥ my relationships

this is VERY important. speaking from personal experiences: do NOT let people get away with treating you poorly. seriously. if you want to improve a relationship and share mutual respect with someone else, let them know when they've done something wrong and that they can't do it again. i truly believe that it's healthy to let the other person know when something's upsetting you (because it might be unintentional on their part).

don't stay silent if you don't wish to continue suffering. talk things out and always seek to improve relationships. not everyone is "toxic", sometimes an honest conversation is really all it takes to change things for the better.

❥ how i treat myself

don't forget that we all need to take time to unwind and take care of ourselves. also, we should be a little more kind and forgiving towards ourselves, because aren't we all just trying to improve and grow every day?

❥ my happiness

happiness is not a thing. it’s a choice. a choice only you can make. a promise only you can keep. you shouldn’t base your happiness on anybody, anything or any feeling.

most of the time we forget that we're still in control of several aspects about ourselves, especially if we're stuck in mindsets like "nothing is going my way and life is miserable" but, remember that you will always be able to keep improving yourself, your life and the way things are.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this article!

V

&& i would like to give a special thank you to my boyfriend who inspired me to write this article ♥

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